Sex and Relationships

The ultimate millennial kit to 'subtly' throw a roll from one night to the next morning

A few years ago, a friend told me an anecdote that was recorded on me: on a trip through Germany, I had had a couple of nights of casual sex. Waking up in the morning, at the house of those (almost) unknown, both they dispatched With a disposable coffee cup. He did not resist, partly because he did not expect those meetings to go further, and partly because he was looking forward to running to tell us on the phone that, over there in northern Europe, they had invented the definitive solution to that so many headaches It gives us sometimes: make it clear to a roll of one night that ... the night is over. The cup is to take away, take it away, go away. The cup is for single use, what has happened here ... too.

Well understood: sincerity would be the ideal solution. "Good morning, it has been a pleasure (never better), but I am not looking for more than this we have had, so the street door is the third on the right". Mmmmmm, the idea is good, but ... We rarely do it, right? And, for not doing so, we have met many times in the dramatic situation of entering into the appetizing morning conversation.

The solution? The fast track completion kit for a night that has been great (hopefully) and it would be a shame to spoil with an awkward morning. It has not occurred to any entrepreneur yet to market it (incomprehensible, we know), but we will give you ideas to create it at home:

The disposable coffee cup

Ok, let's get in position. Sunday morning. We open our eyes, with a slight (or not so slight) trace of hangover, and we find that we are not alone. Saturday night went well, but we are not looking for the love of our life and ... and it is Sunday, well, it is a day when we do not feel like sharing time and space too much. Start the operation "get out of my house, please". But with hints, we have already ruled out that of sincerity. That's where the disposable coffee cup comes in. Thank you, Starbucks, for bringing them into our lives.

The key is at that moment when your cup is disposable and ours is not. We serve coffee in our Mr Wonderful cup and at outgoing roll in a cardboard. He has to catch it. Really. You have to realize that if our cup says "today is going to be a great day" it is precisely because you, honey, are you going to drink your coffee on the way to the taxi rank. We can buy a pack of one hundred disposable cups for just 14.95 euros and, thus, have foresight for a few uncomfortable mornings.

He planner farsighted

Ok, maybe he isn't too awake and doesn't catch him at first. Nothing happens, that's why this is a kit, because there are options. The second possibility also plays with the world of the hint. We need a planner visible, to be able to be next to the bed. And that it is very clear that on Sunday morning we have an unplayable plan (and not very appealing!), The remedy will not be worse than the disease and we have it coupled all day): "Sunday. 12.00: Catechesis", "Sunday. 12.00: General cleaning". The limit is only set by the imagination.

This strategy requires planning: before leaving on Saturday we have to leave it well thought out. Let's not make the mistake of writing the message just when the outgoing roll He is opening his eyes. We are still in the field of hints, so let's be elegant. We can find planners like this for just over 11 euros (and, as an extra, maybe we even managed to plan the work week well).

The Teletaxi Card

We go to level 2 hints. If the previous ones have not worked, we will have to facilitate the exit. A Teletaxi card, our Cabify account, from Uber, our transport pass ... Let's put all the means at your disposal. If we have a jet private, it's worth it too. If you have to make the effort and take it home ... too. That the DGT does not lie to us, this is the true "exit operation".

The scary book

If our house seems like a fun place, people will want to stay. That's how it is. Getting up in the morning and turning on Netflix while serving coffee in the disposable cup ... it's a bad idea. If we give you the WiFi password, we are condemning ourselves. The key is that spending Sunday with us seems like hell. And surely we have a book at home that helps to give that image. He Ulises of Joyce or the Fundamental guidelines for the promotion of the national economy of the USSR for the years 1976-1980 They seem like winning options.

Flannel pajamas

If we fall asleep naked and wake up in the same way ... we are messing it up. Mind you, if we fancy a farewell in style, great. But, if on Sunday morning we only want some food (garbage) and TV (garbage) in the solitude of our homes, the key is not to get sexy. Surely in some dark corner of our closet we keep a flannel pajamas, of those we only use on days of extreme cold and loneliness.

It is very possible that when outgoing roll Wake up, want to run away just by taking a look. To do this, we can use this model of so sexy from AliExpress, for just over 15 euros.

The app savior

Let it not be said that technology does not make life easier for us. If we have not agreed with a friend to make a rescue call (badly done) mid-morning, there are apps that can help us in the homework. A ring Ring, an "oh my God, I have a terrifying family urgency" and matter solved. Fake Call Free for iPhone or Fake Call for Android can become our best friends. Y free, further.

Family photo

Okay, you have to take out the artillery. If we wake up in the morning and our one-night roll has not given clues to the disposable coffee cup or transportation options, nor has it deterred the fact that we are going to read Joyce wrapped in a flannel pajamas while we solve a family crisis ... we must pull the most powerful we have at hand. That picture with our five little cousins ​​in town can have a utility that we had never seen before. "Yes, they are my five children, I always wanted to be a young mother of a large family". If with that phrase he does not run away, we are sorry. Only sincerity will remain. Or activate a fire alarm. Or whatever. A copy of a photo can be obtained in a lot of places by just over 10 euro cents.

Extra: the fake number

Ok, we have it. We are at the door. Farewell. And ... that awkward silence. That we strive to fill with a "I'll call you one of these days". If we both nod, despite knowing that we have not exchanged phones, it will be a beautiful and elegant moment. Yes to outgoing roll it occurs to him to remember that he does not have our number, it is time to resort to a false number. Of course, learn it by heart, please, maybe he knows the trick of asking you to repeat it and ... we don't want to go through that just when we have the victory (and the afternoon of Netflix and sofa) at your fingertips.

A business card with a false number may seem like an absurd investment (and probably is), but every effort is valid to achieve our goal. We can get a pack of one hundred cards for less than 10 euros.

Total price of the kit: approximately 60 euros, valid for about one hundred uses.

performance: Unlimited. And grateful.

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